The Last American Experience: Country Cousin

Our last American Experience on our way back home from Oregon was a stop at a place just outside of Chehalis called “Country Cousin”. This was one of those down home, local farm fresh places that served the classic what you would see on a country kitchen type meals. In other words: Massive and may kill you due to clogged arteries.

Since going to a place like this is rare for me, because I value my health, I had to go all out and sample the Country Fried Steak and Eggs with Biskets and Country Fried Gravy. Every bite I took of this made me feel slower, and dumber, until finally, I felt this tingling sensation coming from my heart. I guess it wasn’t a good idea to top it off with a farm fresh dairy milkshake made with local strawberries. I don’t think my stomach was happy with me. It complained a lot in the car, and we had to crack a window the whole way back.

As I rubbed my stomach in cholesterol uphoria, I tried hard to ponder who would do this to themselves on a daily basis. Then I saw a few customers come in and go out. Every single one, from child to parent, to grand parent was morbidly obese. It was really disturbing. It looked like most people were regulars because I heard the staff greeting them by their names. Folks, if you look in the mirror one day, and wonder why you’re fat, or in a hospital, or have diabetes, you can only blame yourself for eating this shit every day.

I think I’m good for a few months. I’ve had country style breakfasts before, but I’ve never, ever had something as massive, or as unhealthy as what I had there. The fact that I could feel my arteries clog, and my chest tingle, should have been a sign to pull out early, but nope, I had to finish it didn’t I. Don’t try this at home!