The Clean Massage Test…

Here’s something that everyone should know when going for a massage in China. For those that don’t know, there are dirty and clean massage parlors. Some are dirty, and you can tell. Some are dirty, and you can’t tell. Some are really clean, but might be dirty. You get the picture. The ones with a really fast spinning barber’s light, and some girls sitting on a bench, but don’t know how to cut hair are a shoe in for the dirty. Well, anyway, let’s just say that you’re already inside, but you want to make sure your massage will be PG. Here’s how you do it.

You’ll be asked to take a shower and clean up before going in. Most massage places will give you some funky pajamas to wear after your shower. Some will even give you disposable undies so you aren’t going commando. After you get into your massage area, you’ll be expected to take off your top. Now, if you want to make sure your place won’t “Go the Extra Mile”, then you do this.

The masseuse will beckon you to take off your top. Go ahead and do this. Then proceed to take off your bottoms. If you have the disposable undies, well, they don’t leave much to the imagination, so it really doesn’t matter when you drop the trunks. If your masseuse screams and does a 180, then it is a clean, family fun place. If your masseuse giggles and points to the table, you’re in a dirty place. Pretty simple huh? 180 clean. Finger pointing to the table, not so clean.

So there you have it! This works if you’re looking for the dirty places too, and remember, screaming = clean 😉