The Microsoft Zune Party Train Takes a Spill in Vancouver

Yesterday, the Dot Com Pho Crew went out to toast the launch of the Microsoft Zune in Canada. The head of the launch took place in Vancouver and will travel across the country to five other locations including Calgary, Edmonton, Winnipeg, Toronto and Halifax. Unfortunately, the Zune train derailed in Vancouver…

Microsoft tried to be “Edgy” and “Extreme” with their Zune launch by renting out a local indoor skatepark known as “The Sweatshop“. At first, I thought it’d be cool to have a live band and some skateboarding demos and that was what I was expecting. Turns out the place had a flood and the whole skatepark is now in ruins. Desperate for cash, Microsoft saved them by renting out the whole place. However, there seemed to be something peculiar about the whole arrangement as the venue didn’t seem too thankful throughout the night.

The invitations said to be there at 9PM, but while it sounded like people were already having a good time inside, we were left outside wondering if we’d ended up at the wrong place. This made Michael Kwan (above) very upset. He may look thin and FOB like, but he’ll whip you like a branch! We got in around 9:30PM only to find that no one was inside. WTF?

The first sign of trouble was when we went to grab our free drinks. The girls behind the counter started demanding tips from all the guests. Wait a sec? Why would you demand tips when you are getting paid? Turns out no one paid them and they kept harassing the guests for tips before they would hand over the booze. Classy. So where did Microsoft’s money go? Obviously not to Yahoo.

We were looking for signs of Zune at the party and come across one of two small displays. Each display had their whole product line-up attached to it and was manned by a booth babe. We almost missed them as they were stuck in places where you really wouldn’t even notice them. We only found them because we were looking. It’s as if someone wanted them hidden away out of sight. I think Leo Chiang and John Chow brought them the most attention they’ve had all night. I’m a little creeped out by the look John is giving Leo. The display said “Turn Me On” and it looks like John is thinking about it. The fruity Hawaiian shirt he was wearing didn’t help.

John was also thinking about chucking rocks at this Panda, but we quickly calmed him down and told him that it wasn’t really a Panda. It was a picture of some dude in a Panda suit. A panda killer is never at rest when there are more pandas to kill!

We got bored and hungry, so we went across the street to ON LOK; a Chinese Won Ton House that I haven’t gone to in nearly a decade. The live entertainment didn’t start till 11 PM, so we decided to have a “Night Before Dot Com Pho” party there. This would prove to be the highlight of the evening.

When we returned, the place was definitely a lot more packed as the band “The Tranzmitors” took to the stage. However, something was different about the crowd. They were more extreme and edgier than before. I saw one guy that looked like the old school Eric Bischoff from the good ole WWE days…right down to the hair and the tight black jeans (Ugh!). He even had the original NWO T-shirt on! Speaking of tight jeans, if any girls are missing their jeans, your brothers wore them to this party.

As the night progressed, it became more and more like someone pocketed Microsoft’s money, said to hell with the whole Zune thing, and just invited all their buddies to screw-over “The Man” and drink all the beer. Violence ensued as angry tight jeaned hooligans kept knocking over Michael Kwan as they ran to raid what was left of the beer. I’d be angry too if I had to wear women’s jeans. Why does Michael always get abused? First spooning, and now this!

The only recognition that Microsoft and Zune got all night was when the band said “Zune is here. Give us stuff” or something like that. By then, the Zune displays had disappeared, but we think someone just wanted a souvenir. This is all really unfortunate because we all know that sponsors like to be recognized for their contribution. After all, that’s why they pay for these events. You always take care of your sponsors because you want them to be a sponsor again.

I know a thing or two about throwing a real party and this just wasn’t done right. I definitely hope that Microsoft keeps a closer eye on the next five events as this one derailed big time. I never thought I’d say this, but I feel bad for Microsoft. You’d almost think that Apple might have had a hand in this? Hmm…