Stupid Drivers Come in Threes…
On my way out and back from Richmond, I had the pleasure of observing the following stupidity in driving.
I U-Turn Anywhere I Damn Please!
On Westminster Highway I saw a big Suburban type vehicle slam on the brakes and do a U-Turn in the middle of the road near the Automall. The brake lights in the wake of this maneuver all turned red behind him. I’m just lucky I was in the right lane far away from that mess. I didn’t hear any smacking bumpers but that was idiotic.
I’m Trying to Turn Left. Can I Park Here and Tidy My Car?
On Westminster Highway (again) going the other way this time, I notice a lady in her ACURA SUV put her car in park in the middle of the intersection, on a green. She took off her seatbelt gets up, and starts fumbling around in there. She was in the left turn lane but still, I could just see her get rear ended from behind because she’s not paying attention to a break in traffic to turn…or a changing light. Without a seatbelt, she’d go right through the glass and probably into the path of the car trying to turn in the opposite lane. Silly.
Too Busy To Signal. Then “I” Get a Lecture.
My favourite idiot driver today was the one I encountered on the way back from Richmond, as I left Westminster Highway to head up to the Queensborough bridge. There was some dude in a late model white FORD Explorer (yeah, like that OJ Simpson colour) doing the one hand on the phone and one hand on the wheel, “I have a headset but I need to hold the phone still” maneuver. He was a bit slow, but I could see that he was not paying attention because I could see the silhouette of his hand waiving around with a phone in it.
I’m a few car lengths back by the time we hit the merge lane. He gets on pretty slow. I merge then quickly change lanes to the left in anticipation of having to avoid him because he’s still crawling along, yacking away on his phone.
I’m coming up on him and he’s coming up on a cargo truck. I don’t see him signal and he’s given no indication that he’s moving over. “Why would he?” I ask myself. He’s yacking on the phone. So I drop a gear and start to pass. I’m already on his rear third when he tries to come over. Luckily, the shoulder is nice and wide so I quickly get around before he runs into me. Phew!
At the next light before the bridge, he pulls up next to me, still on his phone, and rolls down the window. I see that he’s got a headset but he’s talking with his phone in his hand. Uhh…OK. What’s the point of a headset if you don’t have both hands on the wheel? Anyway, he rolls down his window and tries to tell me that what I did was dangerous. Excuse me? I was already overtaking you when you swung over AND you had no signal and you were on the phone. I try to tell him I didn’t see a signal at all. He says his signal was on. Yeah… Why would I risk trying to go around someone, especially on a slight downhill corner, if I knew you were going to swing out? I was already on you when you decided that you wanted to come over.
So as he’s BS’ing, I’m just thinking, man, how much more likely is it that your turn signal relay has burnt out on your late model FORD POS than it is me trying to do a suicide move on the outside? Maybe you just weren’t paying attention during your heated, hand in phone waiving phone call? Furthermore, how stupid is it for you to lecture me with one hand on the wheel talking with your cell phone in the other hand…with a headset on? Ridiculous.