Dot Com Olympic Weightlifting…

At our last Dot Com Pho – Trans Canada/Telecommuting Edition, we said that we’d get back together this past weekend for a Dot Com Pho again. Unfortunately, the awesome weather has made us all want to get a life. Although John actually did one this past Saturday in Orlando, it was a little too strange for my tastes with the perpetual talk of ball sucking action. It’s well documented that John likes balls, but it’s one of those things we’d rather not talk about anymore as it would make us all associates of an evil ball sucker.

More polite and honorable Ed Lau, fresh from his trip to Japan also did something non-pho as he watched scrawny dudes in skinny jeans whip skateboards at his head. I have no clue what Kwanye was doing, but it probably had something to do with going to a mall in the City of Malls (that’s Edmonton BTW). Iphone Gary was being gently coerced into putting on the ball and chain as he was whisked away to yet another wedding while Greg was going…umm…Greg stuff I guess. I have no clue what he did over the weekend.

That leaves me. Well, I decided that it would be fun to whip huge weights over my head and not drop them on myself like this dude.

So You Want Me To Fling This Over My Head?

Kelly was hosting a “Clean and Jerk Clinic” (my god, that’s as bad as John and his ball sucking antics) down at CrossFit Vancouver which I volunteered to attend. I mean, how hard could it be? Afterall, I’ve been working out with my Wii Fit and chasing my Roombas around the house. This should be easy right?

As it turns out, it isn’t as easy as it seems. There is quite a bit to it, especially as you progress to heavier weights. Because there are all these movements as part of the “Clean and Jerk” (snicker), it’s really easy to overthink the whole thing and end up just tossing those weights into your throat, or send them crashing down on your collar bones. I have the bruising ot prove it.

Eventually though, under Kelly’s tutellage, I was able to send the whole heap of weights over my head in what’s called a “split jerk”. Unfortunately, you’re not done till you get your back foot beside your front foot and hold the weight still for about a second. I’m just glad I’m not Hungarian or I’d be lying on the floor flailing with a dislocated shoulder or something. To have that Chinese thing going for me (no, not the math part) and the power of the Asian Squat kept me safe once again.

The Aftermath…

When I got home after the clinic, I slept from 7:00PM Saturday till 9:30AM Sunday. Everything hurt. I fell down going to the bathroom because my quads were locked (which was rather funny I have to admit). My collarbones were bruised and my arms felt like they’d been pulled out of their sockets. I couldn’t even scratch my back, which drove me completely nuts for a good part of the day. I slid down the stairs on my ass. It was actually less painful to do that than actually try to walk down, which would have ended up in me going down face first instead. It was pretty brutal and I spent most of my Sunday curled up in the fetal position, twittering.

Today, I do have most of my mobility back, though I still walk like I’m wearing chaps and I’m sure my stomach lining has worn off, popping Advil all day. You’re probably thinking that I hated the clinic as a result of these inconveniences, but truth is I actually both surprised and enjoyed myself. I also have a whole new appreciation for the Sport that Kelly has chosen to concentrate on in her bid for a spot on the Canadian Olympic Team when London 2012 rolls around.

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m looking forward to the next clinic. I’m such a glutton for punishment